What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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