she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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