I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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