I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
