I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
