I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
