epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
