i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
