Non-Jews are for practice
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
