It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize