i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
