Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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