What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i drank out of a bidet.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
