i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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