Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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