You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
