So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
