I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
