the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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