The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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