I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
