you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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