did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
