You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize