im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
