I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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