im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize