I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize