consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
