Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
