What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i would punch a child for taco bell
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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