Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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