standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
