so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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