i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like a drive thru vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
