He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
