What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
