so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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