so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
