just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
