He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
