i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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