If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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