note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This toilet bowl is my home.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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