margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize