his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
