Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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