If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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