Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
