you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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