So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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