why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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