It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
