Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
