On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
